Open Chronicles Guest Lecture Series - Entomologica Fantastica

[Kikwi]

The sign on the door read "Guest Lecture Series - Entomologica Fantastica, presented by Kikwi."

It was an effort by the college to garner more public support from the city, and these after-hours sessions were both free of charge and open to the general public. Naturally, only subject matter deemed of lowest importance was permitted to be discussed, and so Kikwi found his proposals approved quite readily. Likewise, the talk was not held on college grounds but in a small auxiliary building just outside. The dining area of said building had been converted into a makeshift lecture hall.

Kikwi didn't mind any of this, sooner or later the college would realize that magic was only part of this magnificent world. In the meantime, everyone deserved the chance to learn.

The tables had been arranged a grid, save for one at the front of the room upon which many books and scrolls had been haphazardly stacked. Behind this, standing on a stool, was the small kenku. In the middle of this table was a cloth covered something. It looked a bit like a box underneath, but it was completely hidden. Each other table also had a cloth covered something at its center, with a handwritten sign stating "do not remove until instructed."

Not many people showed up, but when the time came Kikwi tapped a small blue gem pinned to the collar of his robes. It began to glow.

”WELCOME EVERYONE,” his small voice boomed across the room and made his own feathers stand on end. It seemed overkill for such a small group, so he gave the crystal two taps with a claw and the glow faded away.

”Ahem, welcome,” he said in a normal, if not slightly high pitched voice. “And thank you for coming this evening.” He swallowed, feeling his mouth become very dry as he looked at the small audience. He hadn’t been in front of this many people since his admission hearing, and that had been grueling enough for a few lifetimes.

“I, uh, would like to thank the College for giving me this opportunity...” he was supposed to say something more but it had escaped him. The small bit of cloth in front of him moved with a metallic rattle from beneath, and Kikwi snapped back to attention. “Yes! Anyway, uh, tonight we will be learning about a rather spectacular creature. It is common in caves and, if you have the know-how, very useful!”

With a flourish (or an attempt) he took hold of the small cloth and whipped it off to reveal a small metal cage, inside of which was... a spider.

A large spider.

”Aranacica elongata, also called the giant Cave Widow!” He looked around with bright eyes, looking for a face that matched his own excitement. He continued. “Now, travelers know to always light a fire when spending the night in a cave. It is not the light, but the heat that keeps the Cave Widow at bay. There is good reason for them to do so, for the venom in this spider is strong enough to put you into a rigid paralysis for... oh, about a week.” He found he could speak quite easily now that the subject had turned to spiders, and his confidence continued to grow.

”But! What many travelers do not know, is that the giant cave widow’s venom, when used properly, is a very potent coagulant; ideal for stopping up small wounds. It is also a powerful stimulant: by adding the venom to water, boiling it, and then inhaling the vapors, one could stay awake for a full night without feeling an ounce of fatigue. But, a word of warning to students, if overused the steam will cause a nasty headache. Oh yes and occasionally blindness that usually clears up in a day or two.”

He looked around at the students once more, expecting to see a sparkle of wonder in their eyes to match his own. Such a thing would be difficult.

"Getting the venom is quite easy, observe." The small owl gently opened the lid on top of the cage. The spider flattened itself and made an odd rattling sound. Then, ever so delicately, Kikwi reached in a tiny claw and scratched the spider on its back. The rattling stopped, and the spider seemed to relax. Then, without warning the small creature shuddered and, for lack of a better term, sneezed. It shot back against the edge of the cage while a hefty spray of mucoid fluid spattered the opposite wall, upon which a glass plate had already been lain.

Kikwi retrieved the plate and held it aloft. "Voila! Pure cave widow venom! Now, you each have a spider and we will be practicing extracting the venom. Take care to move slowly, and to scratch precisely where its head meets its abdomen. And never fear, if you are bitten, we have Maester Mulberry standing by." He gestured to a small, wizened old woman in dim brown robes and eyes so sunken that they scarcely opened. Or maybe she was just asleep?

"I will be coming around to see how you're all doing. Carry on!"

 

[Volker]

Nervousness was a bit of an alien feeling.

It would be his first time with any formal education. Volkers, with the exception of very few individuals, were forbidden education. Volker did not know how to read, or write, and his math skills other than basic addition were severely lacking. He was a man built for combat, a war dog in every sense of the word but the obvious. He was even muzzled, the bottom half of his face caged in a baroque mask of steel. Oor usually used it at public appearances, since he often played uo

He found it odd that Oor had seen fit to have him attend. Of course he couldn’t be trusted to go alone...Klaus was awake in his skull and tasked with keeping him in line. If Volker attempted to contact the professor or anyone at the college for aid, he would be summarily ‘kicked out’ of control and Klaus would lead them back to Witherhold.

Volker walked into the classroom with no small amount of trepidation. It was a converted annex not on college grounds, which likely contributed to his ability to attend. There wasn’t a chance he could be allowed anywhere he could study the Well and, perhaps, finally destroy it.

He sat down awkwardly, having no pen or paper with which to take notes, and no way of writing them besides. He looked at the box on the table, and leaned forward to sniff at it. He couldn’t read the signage, and ignored it. He didn’t have a chance to remove the cloth anyway, as a loud booming voice made him sit up and snarl.

The spider was, in a word, interesting. He withdrew a knife from the roll along his upper thigh, and flicked the cloth off his cage to observe his own. He tilted his head as he listened. Now Oor’s interest became clear. He wouldn’t have known the usefulness of the creature or its venom. Most of his ancestors were combatants, and even Nestor had focused on plant-based poisons.

Volker looked at the Cave Widow, and the plate. Interesting. He opened the top lid. He wasn’t foolish enough to reach in with a hand. He used a longer blade to gently tickle the spider along the back as the owl had done.

Kikwi

 

[Kikwi]

Kikwi watched hopefully as the “students” unveiled their cages. Most of the faces were of disgust or fear, but he was enamored enough with all things crawly that Kikwi simply didn’t notice, convinced that everyone must see the beauty of the spiders.

He nodded to a thin wizard at the side of the room, who gave a small flourish with a want and illuminated the wall behind Kikwi with a diagram of the Cave Widow. It detailed in more or less simplistic terms the proper area and method for “tickling.”

The small owl hopped down from his stool and began to walk amongst the tables. Very few had even opened their cages yet, and they were speaking in tense whispers amongst themselves.

”Remember, gentle quick strokes! Just like a cat, really.” He pipped as he watched a skinny young woman reach for the cage with a hand that trembled so much she could scarcely fit it in.

Finally his large, yellow eyes fell on Volker, and he clasped his small scaly hands in delight. This fellow with the fashionable mask was the first person to scratch his spider, and he had been clever enough to use a tool to do so. Sure enough, the spider within shuddered, and ejected a mucoid glop of venom onto the glass pane.

”Oh, very well done!” Kikwi exclaimed, climbing up on a stool across the table from Volker. “You see?” He addressed the rest of the class, “It isn’t so hard at all!”

He looked back at Volker, and said more quietly. “I am glad you have come tonight, my name is Kikwi. Tell me, have you studied the arachnidae before?”

 

[Volker]

Volker watched the arachnid vomit the venom, and closed the cage door. He took the venom plate carefully in hand and removed the glass pane from a student that hadn’t managed to tickle yet, settling it over the top of the globule. The globule spread out, but didn’t touch the edges of the glass, allowing Volker to hold up the sandwiched pieces to the light and properly examine the venom. It would also protect it from the air.

He carefully set the plates down and looked at the owl as he was praised. He wasn’t used to that. He’d simply done as he was asked. “I have never been to school before.” He admitted when the bird asked him. He covered the spider so it wouldn’t become irritated, as it was clearly more at home in the dark. “I was always told it was not practical for someone in my line of work.”

He glanced at the diagram. The scribbles didn’t make any sense; he couldn’t read. But he could process the image easily enough. If the owl asked him to take notes he wouldn’t know what to do. He could neither read nor write, and his master was utterly opposed to the idea. He knew a little; enough to recognize symbols for shops and streets, but beyond that his learning had been limited to killing.

“What will we do with the venom?” He asked, indicating the glass plates that so neatly encapsulated his sample. “I thought it best to protect it from air.”

Kikwi

 

[Kikwi]

Kikwi stood, tiny hands clasped before his waist, as Volker secured his sample. “Well you are quite good at it,” he answered Volker, “it“ being school. “And again, very astute! The mucous will protect the venom from the air for a time, but it is best to keep it from drying out too quickly, otherwise the properties break down.” He leaned forwards to inspect the two plates, seeing the greenish goo flattened between them.

”Most alchemists attempt to scrape the exudate into a bottle, but this seems to work just as well.”

He continued to take mental notes of the technique, trying to decide whether Volker’s method would be more or less practical, and it took him a second to respond to the first part of the question.

”Aah, patience! Let’s let the rest of the class catch up before moving on. While we wait, I wonder, can you guess why the cave widow hides from bright lights? Think on it, and give me your best guess when I come back!”

Kikwi hopped off the stool and went to help the other students. After a time most of them had mustered the fortitude (with enthusiastic encouragement) to at least reach into the cage. A couple of them had managed to secure a venom sample, although the spider at the furthest table seemed to be particularly feisty.

He made his way back around to Volker. “Well? Have you thought about the question? Right or wrong, I will tell you what we’re going to do with this sample when I have your hypothesis!”

The diagram on the wall showed a painstakingly detailed drawing of the cave widow spider. It was a large spider, about the size of a grown man’s hand. Its body was elongate rather than rounded, and its legs thick and angular. On its head were four pairs of black, perfectly round eyes. Two pairs sat on the sides and were quite small, one pair was at the very front and these were larger. The final pair sat on top of the spider’s head and were very large indeed, like shiny black pearls. Its body was covered in a sparse coat of barb-like hairs, and it bore two frightening pincer-like fangs, each the size of a small fish-hook.

Perhaps, if Volker inspected this image, and paid attention to how the spiders had been presented to them, he would be able to deduce the answer to Kikwi’s quiz.

 

[Volker]

Volker waited, and considered the question. He lifted the cloth again to examine the spider. Caves meant low light, cool temperatures, and high humidity. Animals like moles usually stopped having eyes at all. Same for the blind cave fish that wiggled around in the pools near his home in Witherhold. Large eyes, if he remembered from Brade’s blithering on about animals, helped with catching tiny fragments of light and detecting movement. Maybe the cave widow sought to protect these eyes?

When the owl came back to him he looked as though he were eager to hear the answer, and Volker obliged him. “Cave animals are often blind...but these large eyes might help with very low light. That is why you keep them covered. Bright lights upset them because you are blinding them with very bright lights. They flatten because light means open, means sky. Predators come from the sky.” He said. “Would they live around cave entrances, where light is low and prey is plentiful, but they have learned to fear birds?”

Volker uncovered his spider and hovered his hand over it. The shadows cast over the spider, especially moving shadow, would imitate a flying predator seeking an easy eight legged meal...and spiders had no necks with which to look upward and defend themselves with their fangs. “If I come from above...he is helpless.” Volker slowly reached down, and put a finger directly behind the animal’s eyes, between thorax and abdomen. The spider couldn’t twist to hurt him. It relied on him being somewhere those fangs could come into play.

Volker grasped the spider gently, supporting its rear in his palm but his fingers were in the center of the body. He lifted the creature easily. Given the way he’d grasped it, the spider couldn’t bite him. All it could do was flail uselessly in his hand as he turned it to inspect it. He set it back in the cage carefully and released swiftly, closing the cage.

Kikwi

 

[Kikwi]

“Yes!” he chirped in excitement. ”Very, very good! The cave widow is quite blind in daylight, and even the light in this room will make it hard for them to see.” He spoke this last part a little bit louder so the rest of the class could here. “Of course, in the darkness of the caves, they can see far better than most creatures, and as our student has deduced, they spend most of their time in that darkness, just near enough the light to catch the prey within. But even the fiercest predator can be overcome with cleverness.”

It really was remarkable how quickly this man had picked up on how to... well... pick up the spider. Even Kikwi would have had some trepidation at handling the spider, even knowing the proper method. As the rest of the class settled back to try harvest more venom, Kikwi made his way back to the front of the room and began moving a few things around on the desk.

“For those that have a venom sample, please turn your attention to the burners.“ On each table, well to the side of the cages with the spiders, were small metal tubes pointing upright. The mage at the side of the room snapped his fingers and each burner came to life with a small flame.

”We will not let your painstaking harvest go to waste! Recall that the venom, when vaporized can be a useful focusing agent. In moderation,” he looked pointedly at a group of young people wearing Elbion student robes, “it is quite useful.”

He then explained how to set up the little metal stand over the tube. The glass slide with the venom would be placed on this stand, and an inverted beaker set over top to collect the fumes. He demonstrated, and then set the class about its task.

He fully expected some slides to break and some vapors to escape, but that was alright, all in the pursuit of learning new things! The amount of gas they were making was tiny, and even those closest to the fumes would experience little more than a few hours of heightened energy.

 

[Volker]

Volker looked at the set up but withdrew sharply with a short when the flames sparked. He did not typically like magic, and he looked at the burner suspiciously for a moment. So they were to cook the venom lightly over the flames to release the vapors, which would be caught by an inverted beaker. That implied they were lighter than the air around them, didnt it? It might make the beakers difficult to control. Was there another way?

He felt Nestor practically tearing at him, and closed his eyes for a moment. To the others he would appear to go into something of a trance he couldn’t be roused from.

Inside the Well, in his head, Nestor immediately marched up to him. “Look, what you need to do is get that venom into a round flask. There are some over there on a rack. Scrape it inside, should be easy with the plates, and make sure it drops to the bottom. Then put one of those cat gut tubes inside the flask, leading to another flat bottomed flask. See those rolls of cat gut? Fix the problem.” Nestor told him sharply.

Volker withdrew from the Well. He lifted his head, blinking a bit to get him back to reality, and got up. He fetched one of the round bottomed flasks, some tubing, the roll of spare cat gut, and another flat bottomed flask. He set them up at his table.

The round bottomed flask he put above the flames, affixing them to the armature with some of the cat gut wetted in his mouth. Dry, the cat gut was fragile. Wet it clung to itself with surprising strength. It could stand the weight of the round flask. He set up the flat flask and inserted one end of the tube, wrapping it securely with more wet cat gut.

Volker picked up the venom and scraped it carefully into the bottom of the round flask. Quickly, he put the tube in his mouth and sucked, creating a vacuum. He inserted the tube into the round bottomed flask and wrapped it with more wet gut.

Slowly, the vapors rose and travelled down the vacuumed tube. Into the flat flask, completely contained. Volker watched in utter fascination, tracing the journey of the gas with his nose. He couldn’t smell anything. It was contained and safe. Was this how Nestor had poisoned? He could use this gas later, couldn’t he?

But how to seal off the gas?

Volker thought for a moment then pinched the tube. He herded the last bits of gas down, and wrapped the entire top of the flat flask with cat gut. A quick yank and the tube was free, and Volker wrapped down the hole so no gas would escape. He set the flask, full of the fumes, aside and looked up expectantly.

Kikwi

 

[Kikwi]

Kikwi set about collecting a pre-acquired venom sample at the front table as a demonstration to the rest of the class. He was quick, having done it before, but he was still preoccupied for a good deal of time. By the time he looked up Volker had already transferred the venom to a new flask, and had set up his makeshift rig.

“What a splendid set up!” Kikwi pipped, coming back to Volker’s table. You’ve managed to preserve most of the mucous through your transfer, and it is very efficient to set up your tools like this. He blinked, a pondering look coming over him. “Are you sure you’ve never done this sort of thing before?”

It was quite extraordinary that Volker would even think of using a different flask, let alone select one appropriate for the situation, if he did not have at least some prior knowledge of alchemy or a related science.

The rest of the class did manage to secure a fair amount of vapor, of course some had escaped into the room and dissipated, as was expected. Such a small volume in so large a room would have no effect.

”Thank you all for attending!” Kikwi announced, back at the front of the class. “I do hope you learned something useful about our eight-legged friends. Please come back next week for Maester Bobwhick’s lecture on Trollop-Fig cultivation and basic de-frosting techniques!

”The vapor is yours to keep, and should be enough for a single use. Just open your flasks and waft the fumes gently towards your nose and breath in gently. You will find you have quite a bit of focusing power for a couple of hours. Until next time, goodnight!”

He finished the lecture with a small bow, and looked around for any students that may have more questions, keeping at least one eye on Volker, the mysterious star pupil.

 

[Volker]

Volker looked at the flask, then at the professor. The owl seemed impressed. “I just figured out a way to store the fumes without them escaping.” He said, nodding to the shelves of laboratory glass. “And I thought those were available for use.” Nestor had certainly given him a kick in the right direction, but all he’d needed was that kick and a bit of logic. He looked at the flask again, sealed over with drying catgut that would tighten around the glass and give even less of a chance of gas escaping.

He was sad it was over. He touched the glass, looking it over as the owl requested questions and dismissed the class. Volker didn’t particularly want to leave, and hesitated getting up from the ta able. Learning being over meant returning to his old life. He just wasn’t ready yet.

But there wasn’t any good lingering. He stood up and grabbed the flask, walking toward the door. There were directions to town and the college on a post outside the auxiliary...but he looked back at the owl. He couldn’t read them. “Which way is back to town?” He asked.

Kikwi

 

[Kikwi]

Kikwi nodded, and reassured Volker that the glassware had indeed been available. It was perhaps lost on the young kenku how much Volker did not look like he should know any of this. Kikwi did not dwell on the odd face mask, nor the manner of speech. Perhaps it was because he himself had not explored as much of the world as he would have liked. Perhaps Volker’s clothing was normal somewhere else, and therefore no reason to stare.

He answered a couple of quick inquiries from other students, and signed a couple of lesson books of pupils for extracurricular study credits, but he walked over to the strange man at his question.

It was clear now that Volker could not read. This shouldn’t have been surprising, he’d said he had no schooling after all, but Kikwi had assumed him to be self-educated. If reading on his own was not the reason for his success... what was?

“The town will be to your left,” he pointed with a small yellow claw. “And, sir, if you don’t mind my saying so, I could use someone of your... quick instincts. If you’d like to learn more, come find me at the college. Just tell the gatekeeper that Kikwi has invited you. I think...” he pondered, clicking his small beak in thought, “...in a week I will have a new project, one I think you may enjoy.”

With that, he bade the rest of the class goodnight, and began to pack up the supplies.