Fate - First Reply Breakfast in Bed

A 1x1 Roleplay where the first writer to respond can join

Visha Sofka

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It's early. Soft eastern light coming in through the window early. The bed in this Allirian Inn is warm and comfortable. Then.

"Hi."

There's a young human woman sitting on the edge of the bed. She's looking. Grinning. Holding a pan with something on it in her hand. The room door behind her is ajar.

"You don't know me. I'm Visha. There! Now you know me!"

There's the smell...of food?

"You know, you really ought to have locked that door. Or was it locked? If it was locked, you should have barricaded it. LISTEN! Like my dad always said, 'Visha, that's a broomcloset, not a kitchen.' What's this have to do with your door? I'm glad you asked, and I'm gonna tell you!"

She actually doesn't tell you, and skips right to the next thing after a moment.

"So I finally decided to do something nice for you, for a change! All I needed was a pan, I mean, I had all of the ingredients, I never leave home without 'em. Alright, so I was downstairs. Searching. Snooping. Ah ha! Found it! And then the innkeep is all like, 'Hey, why do you need that pan?' and then I was all, 'Hey, why do you need those eyebrows?'"

Visha smacks her free hand over her chest and belts out a round of laughter, her head thrown back for most of it. Then she presents the pan and its contents, thin wisps of steam rising from the hot food.

"TA DA! Look at what I got you. Mmmm, got some scrambled eggs--lemme know if you want some pepper! Got some bacon and sausage. And there, see that? I even stole a biscuit for you! I couldn't get the honey though. Or maybe I did and I sold it. I dunno."

Her grin came back, her eyes wide and pupils tiny. Then in a singsong fashion she said, "Ennnnnjooooyyyy~!"

What exactly are you going to do in this...perplexing scenario?


This a quick write thread.

It's a tag meant to indicate for the thread to be short. These are little stories, quick RPs that can, but don't necessarily, have to go for long. I think "quick writes" would be good for test-driving new characters, odd or quirky situations, little bits of character building, seeing how well two characters get along, establishing an acquaintance between two characters that could be built upon later in other threads, and small slice-of-life events and everyday moments (not every thread has to be epic). That's the intent.

Feel free to make a quick OOC post if you want to reserve the spot, and then edit it into your actually post later.
 
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Igni struggled upright to watch this… perplexing turn of events. For a moment she didn’t even remember where she was. But some time before the girl finished speaking, she put the pieces back together. There had been a party downstairs last night and she had been in attendance. Rather than walk back to her estate late at night, she had rented the room and resolved to return in the morning.

Now it was morning, and there was a stranger offering her breakfast. A stranger who, by her own admission, had broken into her room to offer her breakfast. For a moment she considered the possibility that she was in danger, though the young woman’s demeanor made that notion far-fetched.

Her grin came back, her eyes wide and pupils tiny. Then in a singsong fashion she said, "Ennnnnjooooyyyy~!"

Without much of a choice Igni reached forward and took the offered pan. It certainly smelled good. “This is very kind of you,” she said, looking the girl up and down. Certainly spritely, and a whiff of magic about her. “Were you at the party last night?”

She sniffed the pan again.

“You’re not trying to poison me, are you?”
 
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Were you at the party last night?

Visha took in a big breath, her chest swelling out.

You're not trying to poison me, are you?

"...YES!"

Her eyebrows were arched high onto her forehead, unblinking eyes wide open, cheeks puffed out from her big unsheathed grin. She stayed like that for a moment, seemingly satisfied, seemingly having answered both questions with one word...maybe?

Then she relaxed some and took on the expression of someone strolling down memory lane and bumping into something unpleasant, "Uuufff, but have you ever met a toxomancer before? Aren't they a dreary bunch? Greasy hair, sullen cheeks, pancake butts. And they're always damp. HOW are they always damp? Like, what, spend too much time in a hot spa mixing reagents together, huh? You know what I mean? Creepy people just love poisons, don't they? I'll tell you who aren't party people; they're not party peo--"

Visha's eyes lit up with what seemed a sudden remembrance, and she leaned a bit toward Igni.

"Ooooooohhhhh, you're right. The party!"

She took off her right glove and shook her hand vigorously, as if to dispel some tingling feeling there.

"I slapped somebody. Look, all I had was one little thing of wine even though the barkeep said no, and, heh, I'll be the first to tell you, that's all it takes to get my slapping-hand slapping. And, hmm..."

She crossed her legs and cradled her elbow whilst stroking her chin, looking upward in contemplation.

"...I can't remember who it was. Hey, do you remember? Whoever it was though, I hope I knocked them straight on their ASS! AH HA HA HA!"

Igni Ymaranath Ythys
 
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"I have not met a toxomancer before," Igni said, returning her attention to the meal. She scooped up one egg with her fork and ate it, savoring the taste, still a little suspicious. But it tasted fine to her. Delicious, actually.

"Very good," she said, settling the meal on her belly. There was no denying Igni was huge, and as she sat in bed her belly made for a rather convenient table. Still, she kept the bedclothes wrapped about herself to protect her modesty.

"Ah yes. I do remember some sort-of rucous now. Strange I did not recognise you earlier," she said. The whole party had been interrupted by this girl's antics. "You were probably the most interesting thing to happen all night, in fact. So thank you for the free entertainment."

The party had been a rather stuffy affair, full of rich old merchants and poor young nobility. Igni was glad when it quieted down, and she could speak to people more genuinely.

"It was a wine merchant of middling repute. I forget his name now. What were you doing at the party, anyway?" she said. "And why did you assault that fellow?"
 
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Very good.

"On a scale of one to good, I know it was delicious!" If only she could have baked the biscuit instead of having to steal it! Little known secret: she loved baking. If her parents hadn't been bakers, she would have sold them and bought new ones WHO WERE bakers! Yes, she loved baking! Wanna know why? Guess! Guessguessguess!

Hold that guess.

Because it was...

"Story time!" Visha cleared her throat, and rocked her head and her body side-to-side as she sat on the edge of the bed. "So here I am in Alliria, waaaaaay ahead of the Great Green Dragon's warband. Wait, I still have to make a shrine to my big, huggable Geladryxie here in this stupid inn--don't let me forget! You know what, hmm, I really need to write a few letters. You know the feeling, don't you? Like, where are all mah orcs at, you know?"

She knew how to spell Geladryx, but how did you spell Hanuman? Oh, and Khurash. Was that with a "C" or a...?

"Where was I? Oh, right! Anyway! I was walking by this inn and some guy came stumbling out and down the steps and he just puked all over the street and I stood there--sagely, mind you--and thought to myself: hmmmmmmmm, interesting... Let's investigate! So after I sucker punched that guy I came in here and I was IMMEDIATELY accosted! Accosted! Some divvy just inserts his face into my face and says, 'Would you like some wine?' and then I politely explained at the top of my lungs, 'I DON'T WHINE, I COMPLAIN!' And he's all looking at me like I'm the one who snatched that glass of wine out of his hands. Which I did. So this merchant of middling repute has his eyes middling down as he's blubbering away, and I know where this is going. How many times do I have to say it?? My belt! ISN'T! FOR SALE! Get your own! So his cheek assaults my palm and then everybody else gets pissy at me! Can you believe it? I might have left out some details, but, ha ha, they don't call it being blackout drunk for nothing!"

Whether she actually had gotten blackout drunk was something else.

Then Visha seemed to realize something. Her bottom lip pulled long and her brow slanted down.

"Wait...what were YOU doing at the party? Huh? Are you a spy for the RANGERS??"

Igni Ymaranath Ythys
 
"I'm a merchant," Igni said. "I was meeting a colleague there, to discuss a business opportunity."

Igni finished off the remains of her 'breakfast,' then put the pan aside and looked at Visha directly.

"That was delicious. Thank you." She sighed. "I suppose now I should return home. Excuse me."

She pushed back the bed sheets. Underneath she was wearing a modest night gown, though now it became obvious just how round she was. Igni's current form posessed a venus figure, but one pushed to the extreme. Hence her actions were very deliberate as she shuffled to the edge of the bed.

There was a rush of static and the smell of rain as Igni stood up; she had used magic to assist her to stand. For a moment she considered asking Visha to assist her in getting dressed, but then thought better of it. From what she'd understood from their conversation so far, which wasn't much, one thing was abundantly clear. Visha was quite mad.

Or, she wanted Igni to think she was mad.

Instead Igni walked to the wall next to the vanity chest and knocked on it. A moment later a lady of perhaps forty entered the room. She looked at Visha and bowed.

"Visha, this is Merina. My assistant," she said. "Merina, this is Visha. She is a cook. A good one."

Merina smiled awkwardly at Visha, then said to Igni, "Are you ready to dress, my lady?"

Igni nodded. "Excuse me," she said to Visha, then stepped behind the folding screen with Merina for a little extra privacy.
 
Visha, apparently, forgot or dropped the accusation of espionage as soon as Igni said that the breakfast was delicious. Flames flared up from her eyebrows and she agreed emphatically, fists clenched and pumped before her, "YES! IIIIII~ know it was!"

There were three things Visha could do really well: pyromancy, and baking. Wait, what's that third one, you might ask. Shh! Ssshhh...no more questions!

Visha popped off of the bed and onto her feet once Igni had magically done the same, a queer look of delighted shock on her expression. Oh ho ho, what do we have here!? Just casually tossing around magic, huh? Nevermind those flames that had sparked from her brows just a moment ago, those have a mind of their own. Hmmm, and where might our intrepid breakfast-eater have learned this magic, HUUUUH? The College? We'll see what Great Maho has to say about that!

But before Great Maho could say anything about anything, some old lady came into the room.

Visha gasped. "How dare you bow at me!" And then Visha bowed RIGHT BACK! Yeah! That's right, now what?

Igni then literally told Visha the woman's name.

And Visha said, "I don't know who this is, but I intend to find out! The plot thickens!"

As Igni stepped behind the folding screen, Visha went bolting out of the room's door, sprinting downstairs and to the innkeep's counter. She. Had. Some. Questions!

Igni Ymaranath Ythys
 
Once Igni was dressed, having already been fed, she departed her room, prepared to exit the inn and go on about her day. Despite her exceedingly large frame she descended the stairs with relative ease, gripping the railing tightly for comfort rather than for any real need. She was so wide and the stairs so narrow she brushed against the sides in all her gowns. Something that didn't go unnoticed by the tavern's morning patrons. At least as far as she could tell, given their stares.

Visha was at the innkeep's counter. The stocky old fellow was wincing at the young pyromancer as if he'd rather have his eyebrows set on fire than endure any more of Visha's babbling. So Igni walked over, cleared her throat and said, "I'd like to settle my account, please."

To which the innkeep responded with a relieved smile. "Lady Igni! It was a pleasure hosting you for the night. Can I get you anything before you depart?"

"No need," Igni said, as Merina stepped forward with her purse.
 
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"There! There she is! The mystery woman!" Visha exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Merina.

The innkeep made, at least, an attempt. "She's not--"

"You wouldn't BELIEVE what happened! So I'm just sitting there with my friend, right, and we're just having a little morning chat, as you do, and then this random lady kicks open the door and she comes in and she's all like, 'I'm the assistant' and then I'm sitting there like, 'Oh yeah, well what do assist in, carpentry, look at what you did.' And that's the story so far!"

The innkeep just let out another sigh and accepted the payment from Merina, casting off any further attempt to untangle whatever mess the loud pyromancer was laying out.

So Visha sidled up to Igni. Held her mouth behind her curved hand as she 'whispered' sideways to her, "What do you think she's up to, huh? Bet she's weaseling her way on some coin somewhere, is what I think! Second guess, she's gonna burn this whole inn down. Wow, what a tragedy!"

Igni Ymaranath Ythys
 
"Oh, she's definitely trouble. But, being my closest of friends, I let her get away with it all," Igni said softly, though not so softly that Merina or the innkeep could not hear her.

"What about you? Do you have business of your own, or a place to stay? Or would you care to accompany me back to my estate?" she said to Visha.

At her words the innkeep looked relieved, though Merina's eyes widened to saucers. She shook her head with alarm. Igni only grinned back.